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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021673">I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/cvndycvnt/pseuds/cvndycvnt'>cvndycvnt</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Accidentally Swallowed Some Of My Mouthwash And It's Your Fault [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Angst with a Happy Ending, First Kiss, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Recovery, Weddings, um idk just healing in general fjdjdjdjj</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 14:00:36</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>598</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29021673</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/cvndycvnt/pseuds/cvndycvnt</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>MAJOR TRIGGER WARNINGS APPLY.</p><p>Continuation of “I'M NOT YOU”.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Agni/Ciel Phantomhive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>I Accidentally Swallowed Some Of My Mouthwash And It's Your Fault [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1972354</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'M NOT AFRAID OF YOU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ciel got better over time. He had learned other coping mechanisms. He learned to open up more and not bottle shit up all of the time. He learned to ask for help when he needed it. He learned to be his own person.</p><p>Of course some of the ways he coped were not entirely healthy. Of course he hand slips ups; that was part of progress in all types. Agni knew that. But even the first day was progress, and Agni let him know how proud of him he was.</p><p>It was a gradual change. It was painful at first, for both of them. Sleepless nights, vomit, days to weeks of bed rest, hospital trips after seizures. There were times Agni thought Ciel would die. He fret over the boy constantly, to the point even his friends worried about him. All it did was make Ciel feel worse.</p><p>But change was change. He’d broken the habit. The routine. He, for the most part, had shifted his mindset. He didn’t <em> need </em> it. He could live without it. There were other, much better things. He <em> could </em> be happy.</p><p>When Agni found out about Ciel’s father, livid was an understatement. He had sworn himself to being a pacifist on dedicating his life to only helping others. In that moment he wanted to break it, just once. Even just to hit the man - if you could call him that. But he had been imprisoned and sentenced for a few years before he would have the chance of parole. </p><p>There was nothing he could do about the boy’s father. So he focused on continuing to build Ciel up. He took him on nice trips, showed him beautiful things, taught him everything he would need in life. It meant everything and more to Ciel.</p><p>Later on, they had gotten enough money to buy a nicer house. It was a small one-story cottage in a meadow near a lake. It wasn’t in the best of shape, but it didn’t matter to them. It was <em> their </em> house. Their <em> home </em>. The renovations just gave it a chance to make it so.</p><p>All of their savings were put into renovating their home. They were proud of what they’d made. They showed it off to all of their friends.</p><p>The first time Ciel directly told Agni that he loved him was their fourth anniversary. It was a cool spring evening, the sky painted in pinks and oranges from the setting sun. They sat by the lake drinking wine and eating jelly pastries. Ciel kissed him. <em> I love you </em>. He looked so nervous. Precious. It warmed Agni’s heart entirely. He kissed the boy back with such passion that made both of them blush. They spilled their wine, interwove their fingers, and became one that night.</p><p>Ciel found that it was much better when done gently. When done <em> properly </em>. With someone he cared about. Never in his life had he felt to special. He felt like they were the only two people in the world in that moment.</p><p>Not long after, they were engaged. It wasn’t surprising to any of their friends. Everyone pitched in to give them a perfect wedding. Soma begged to be Ciel’s best man, to which he (happily) agreed.</p><p>Only a few months later, they were husbands. The wedding was in their backyard, gold and white and royal blue, all their friends with them. On top of the world. Truly free. <em> Whole </em>.</p><p>It was a life Ciel never thought he would have. One he thought he didn’t deserve. But he was immensely grateful for it. For Agni.</p>
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